The world of 2008. Do you care?

Oh hi guys,

We are coming to an end of the year. 2008. How do you see 2008?. Ups and downs. More Ups or Down?

I think lets come back to look at it when we are in 2009 :D

Recent news about the world has somehow affected some of us. It really helps if someone is interested about what is going on around the world. However, as far as i noe, I dun see alot of ppl ard me really concerned about what is really happening.

Their answers will be like ..'' Don't know and Dont care''

It's quite sad to hear these kind of answers though. It just shows how well we know about the world. These ppl are just more concerned wat courses they are studying in the university, how well they want to do to go up dean list. But do they know what they are studying in university, may become OBSELETE when they graduate?

They will argue, '' once i noe I am the best in the subject, I noe i can get a job anywhere''

There's nothing wrong with the answer, and its is a very good answer. But the question is, how sure are you that the subject you studying wont become OBSELETE when you graduate?

We are all living in a different environment everyday. We dont know which bank may collapse tomorrow. We dont know which company will call for bankruptcy tomorrow. We dont know which company or industry will go into the history books. So many things happen everyday, and ppl are apathetic about it. They just know it's good to study university, and they are safe:D

I think many of you guys out there have seen friends regret the courses they have chosen to study for 4 yrs in uni. 4 yrs later, they say they should have studied '' ...'' , ''...'' . This is jus wasting of time. 4 yrs can do alot of things. However, they just have to accept the consequences.

Many a time, people chose subjects to study , with the wind. When the wind is blowing Life Science, all go life science, w/o fully what is lifescience to them.When the wind is blowing Business!, all follow Business! when they think business jobs can earn alot!. But when they went thru exams, they dont understand much abt it, they dont like it, they regret.

Just remember: Dont be led blindly.

Ultimately, all these comes down to how much you know abt ur surroundings, abt the world issues, abt ur region. If you dont know, you will just be led blindly. Information is priceless.

These goes to the same for our health.

If ppl ard you are apathetic abt current credit crunch, recession, it's still acceptable, as these wont kill them YET. However, if they are apathetic abt their health, and health issues, seriously, we got to wake them up.

If ppl are stil living in their own world, they will know that all milk are healthy products and shld be taken everyday, despite news told them abt melamime being contained in milk products. Not knowing wat is happening, they just continue picking same old milk products, and maybe they doesnt know wat melamime is.

If ppl are unaware of their country health problem, they may continue eating chickens, when they duno that 1/2 of their country's chickens have been killed becos of H5N1.

Most people, usually, does not really bother much abt anything, until something happens to them or somebody close to them.

When ppl know that wat they are studying will be useless in the society, they will start to panic and find a solution, and really go into deep thoughts wat they shld do next.

When ppl know that they have contacted some diseases/ illnesses because of their unhealthy eating habits, then they panic and quickly read up more on the illness, and finding cures to them.

However, do we know that sometimes it can be too late to realise it?

By the time you want to change your course of study, you are already in ur final yr. When you decide to change course again, study again, you may have lacked your friends by at least 3 more yrs. AND, how sure are you that your new subject wont be obselete/useless like your 1st subject that you have given up?

By the time you know you have cancer, do you think there is a 100% cure for it? Cancer is not caused by cancer itself. Cancer is just a symptom of the illness. When you have it, you read up more abt the illness, and then START taking precaution of ur eating habits. Do you think it has already been too late to watch your diet now?

People say '' Prevention is always better than Cure''

Agree. But how many ppl really follow this?

It's easier said than done.

Somethings have happened to me, and now i taking all the precaution to prevent it. Because I knew I have it, and I do not want to wait till that day to say '' I shld have..'' Its too late then.

I hope guys out there do the same too. Watch out for your health before its too late....

If you say you will fail, you definitely will!

Yea. I can say my cantonese has improved slightly. I can say from lvl 1 to lvl 1.1. yea. even though a small improvement only, at least i improved:)

At least i moved from 1 to 1.1, so i can proceed to lvl 2 soon!.

I did take time n effort out to learn how to connect sentences, any maybe new vocabulary.

It can be quite difficult at 1st, ppl may joke ur pronounciation, you may get stuck saying 1/2 way, people may look at you reading 'learning cantonese books' on busses or mrts, you may think you sound funny while saying it... alot alot of things that you are not used to.

However, Why I care so much abt ppl looking at me?. I learn for myself. Not For them?. Who cares abt the ppl on mrts looking at what im reading.LOL. I used to think alot of how people look at me when im doing things, but think again, what matters most is how u look at yourself.

If you think you are a failure, You confirm will be a failure.

No matter how others try to push you, motivate you, encourage you, YOu will still fail.

BEcos You think SO!.

Alot of people know this logic. However, you can see alot of people still doing it!.

e.g.

Looking back at sch days, how many ppl you noe, esp during O n A lvls, when they havent even tried to take the paper, they have given up hope on themselves, by SKIPPING the paper?

Its not that they cant do the paper, they choose not to do the paper. They give themselves way TOOO many excuses. i can quote some ''I dun wan to have a U grade on my cert, not nice'' ,

'' I want to concentrate on other subjects'' '' this subject not needed in my university admission''

'' I dunwan to waste time taking the paper''.. and alot more... you guys can see it urself.

They surrender before a war started..

If you can see, and u check with your friends.. How many of them can score alot more better in other subjects by dropping subjects? ohya, im not talking abt people who can afford to drop subjects. I m talking about those who cant drop subjects, but still chose to drop it. E.g. 3 A lvl subjects-> they just aim for 2 A lvl passes, so they drop one.

They are way concerned how other people look at them. They scared people may look at their 'U' grade, however, they they prefer a ' Ab' grade=> absent. tell me wat's the difference?

There's ALOT OF difference!.

A 'U' grade tells you how much you have learnt so far abt that topic, and how much you have not learnt. It shows you how unprepared you are, and how little prepared you are. It may show you your true weakness in certain topics which you have to work harder on, should you decide to re-take it again.

'Ab' grade?. shows that you are absent. It shows that you are afraid to take the test. It shows that your confidence level is low. It shows that you are unwilling to tackle difficulties ahead of you. It shows your true character : Give up easily.

So which one will you choose?

'U' tells u abt wat u really need to improve, and shld u choose to retake your subject, it will help you. Then you will concentrate more on subjects you are weak in, so you can work harder towards it, and certainly you will do better.

'Ab' tells you abt ur true character, your personality, more about yourself than your subjects.

Good!. not bad wat. you can see ur true self. BUT!. isit worth it?. You spend 1 whole year of study just to see ur personality? You pay examination fees of $100+ just to test yourself? Its not just $100 you are wasting. Its the TIME!. lets just calculate from the minimum..

Let's say you work in Macdonals!.

1 hr $4 ( i calculate the minimum)

1 day 10 hrs = 10 x $4 = $40

1 month= 28 days ( 3 days off) = 28 x $40= $1120

12 months= 12 x 1120 = $13440!!

And wait!.. You are working for just $4/hr.. and im sure you can get more than tat outside..

Other than this!. You are also wasting alot of other's people time!. and alot more. And, If you wan to really test your self, your character, u can go courses, go play games, or just go FACEBOOK!. alot of apps. for you to test.LOL

Hence, people out there, Before you give up on yourself, think of all these things 1st.

Seriously. 1 simple action of giving up is easy to do. Anyone can do. Just think of You are a failure, you will fail, and you will give up alr. Easy rite? this is power of ur subconscious mind:)

I ll end here 1st.

ORd-oh:D

A life-changing course

Hey guys!.

Just last weekend, 8/11, 9/11, I attended a course. A life-changing course. A course which show you your path to success. A course which brings out the true you. A course which show you what kind of person you are for the past 20 yrs.

anyway, I ord-ed on 8/11. I shall not talk abt Ord 1st. Im not so much interested abt Ord, and alot of my close friends have not even smell Ord yet. Its not very applicable to talk it now:)

Through this course, I have realised What a person I am so far in my life. and All i can say, I am don't have a big heart in accepting people's mistakes. A heart just not enough to forgive all people.

I am also not very serious in some things i do. And that's why i dint achieve what I wanted to achieve, and sometimes I took longer than others to achieve it. E.g. learning Cantonese. From last yr till this yr, I said I will learn it well, so it will be easy for me to converse in Hk, and it's good to learn too. People tell me its easy, since I know chinese words. However, I dint really make effort to learn it or talk abt it, since i think its easy. So till noW! Nov, i think i have just increased my Cantonese level, from lvl 1 to lvl 2 only. I can pick up canto words easier, and maybe understand more words. However, I still cant last a canto conversation more than 3 lines.

I am quite self-fish sometimes too, meaning think more of myself..than others. Others mean ppl i do not really noe, or my cold friends. I think more for myself, then my close n good frens then others. I tend to make win-lose situations than win-win situations. And from this course, i have learnt more abt it.

Above all these, there are alot more things I have learnt. alot alot more. I can say this course is way better than other courses outside. AND... its costs way less than others too. Its OverValued, and UnderPriced.

And now, learning so many things, its time to put it to good use. And everything has just started, not ended. Its time to start anew, and create my route to success. I shall not wait any longer, as time shall not wait for me.

From now, I Am On My Route to Success!!

Can you rule yourself?

Alright

My Com just got back to work. Crashed due to some downloads. I think i might get a New MacBook Pro Soon. Alright, back to my last posts, I say i will post my goals here. And here they are:

Long Term:

1) Financially Free by 28 - own car own house..

2) 1st mil by 25

3) Own apartment by 25

4) A personal car before 22

5) Married by 25

6) My Own Company By 26

Short Term:

1) Improve Myself in terms of:

- Communication

- Confidence

- Speaking

- Personal Grooming

- Motivation

- Presentation

- Financial IQ...

2) Pay for my parents, for a holiday trip- $8000..

3) Open up my Social Circle

Alright. These are my main goals. Some people may think Im dreaming, talk big only. Yes, It may seems Im really dreaming!!. But at least I dream!. People who dont dream will have NIGHTMARES.

Sometimes, What you target in your goals may not come true, but at least, you are nearer to it!. If you dont set goals, and work towards your goals, YOU will never get NEAR to it, but in fact, you are drifting further away from your goals!!

Another thing is about ACTION!. I think alot of people have heard this word ACTION ACTION everyday in their lives. From their Teachers, Parents, Brothers, Seminars.etc, but HOW many people are really taking action?. They know!! but why they are not doing IT?.

Just like i tell a fat guy:

'' You should watch your diet! Do not eat oily food or late suppers!!''

He will reply '' Yes, I know I know..''

Then, when he walk past Old Chang Kee, or some pastry shops, he will stop buy to buy some snacks to eat. THEN, when his parents bought some supper back home after dinner, He will have his share. After eating, He will tell himself, '' Shit, should not have eaten them.''

This happens to alot ALOT of people. Just like you know you got to study for your exams, and not slack. In the end, they slack, and give reasons like '' I need to relax, my brain jammed, alot of things to remember, brain canot absorb..'' to cover themselves. In the end when results come, They Tell themselves : '' I should have studied more, I should not have slacked so much, I should have practised more 10 yr series, I should have.. I should have..''

One Answer to all questions:

Humans are ruled by emotions , not logic.

And again, when people know humans are ruled by emotions, They continue to let emotions rule them. They dunno how to Control their EMOTIONS!

If you want average results, do what average people do. If you want to get excellent results, do what top students do. If you want to be poor, do what poor people do. If you want to get average pay, do what average people do. If you want to get what middle-income earners get, do what middle-income earners do. If you want to be rich, DO what the RICH do. If you want to get SUPER-RICH( e.g. Bill Gates, Warren Buffett), do what the Super-Rich do!

These few days while Im saying all these, Some people come and tell me, Im being Psychoed!. I Keep thinking of getting rich, Keep thinking of earning big money, Keep thinking of What What What..

So My Answer to them:

AT LEAST, Im being Psychoed to be RICH. YEs RICH. And I will be rich one day.

TO me, Being RICh is a possibility, but to most people, being rich is not possible. They rather use reasons like '' play safe, get steady job, have a family can alr, dun think so far, money is the root of all evil..'' to cover their poverty.

As you know, NOthing is steady in this world now, 158yr old bank also collapse. Put money in bank, Bank Dun wan to return you. What is steady now?. People say gahmen jobs alot of bonuses, and somehow like 'metal rice bowl', but yesterday news just said Bonuses for Civil Servants are being reviewed, due to drop in GDP, and they may not even get bonuses if economy does not improve.

So, make the correct decision before its too late.

Last buy not least,

Take ACTION.

Questions for thoughts!

On Saturday, I learn alot of things. I think they are just too much to be shared all here. However, I got somethings for you guys to think about...

1) What is your opinion of Selling?

2) Do you know that We are all born salesman?

3) Do you know God is a Salesman?

4) Do you know What are the BIG 3 Important Rules of a Successful Business?

5) Do you know the Difference between a scientist and a professor?

6) Do you know the REAL reason Why people study in University?

7) Do you know What is the ONE thing that a university graduate who earns $2500/month has, that a self-made millionaire of no tertiary education does not have?

8) Do you understand fully How the sub-prime crisis comes about?

9) Do you know Why some people can move thousands or even millions of people, just with their Words?

10) Do you know the 3 MOST Important Factors that made somebody so Successful in whatever they do?

11) Do you know the 3 Powerful tools in any business?

12) Do you know What are the 3 sought after Professions?

13) Do you know What are the things that Schools / Universities teach and DO NOT teach?

14) Do you know Why Books are so Important?

15) Do you know What really makes a person Rich?

Hmmm..15 questions.

Actually there are more, i just cant think of them now.

Anyone who know the answer, keep it to youself. However, if anyone wanna ask me the real answer, come forward and ask me personally:) I will tell you personally :)

If you never ask, you never know:)

These are just some food for thoughts. If you are interested to learn more, Come forward and ask me out, so we can talk abt it over a meal:)

Alright. I will post my goals in my next post!

My Ah ma...part 4

My grandma used to tell us 3 brothers, not to fight, not to fight, give way to each other. I think she had said at least a million times, when she onced bathed us when we were babies, till we become old enough to think, when my big bro go army, when i enter jc..

She bought my 1st leather wallet, my 1st bicycle, my 1st gameboy, my 1st gameboy light,my 1st gamboy colour, my 1st digimon, 2nd digimon when it was stolen, my 1st tamiya car, my 1st pro-yo, and alot more...

Whenever i visit her, she will ask if i had eaten. If not, she will quickly cook up some dish to fill up my stomach. She can really cook up anything. Give her some flour, water, and she can fry a kueh for afternoon supper. Whenever she had finished cooking the dinner, she will always call us to eat, n not to wait any longer. When we always say ' dan dan (wait)' , she will wait a while, maybe after 5 min, will call us to eat again. I missed that.

When we say wait again, she will be frustrated, and nag at us for not eating, n letting the food cold is not nice to eat alr. Then, we will only start eating, and ah ma will fill our plates with lots of food, and tell us to eat bao bao. After Dinner, she will bring out watermelons, or cut fruits.

After that, she will again bring out snack like biscuits, crackers to us. The thing is, she doesnt want to eat all these fruits and crackers, and always says she does not have strong teeth. However,we can see that she just want us to eat, n not get hungry overnight. n Tats why u see us 3 brothers become so tall, big sized.

We were all fed by our ah ma when we grow up. All 3 of us went to TAF clubs from pri school days. I went in from P2 till sec 4. HAHA. 8 yrs. LOL. Cant lose weight?. yea. My ah ma food is just too nice to control. They are not oily or fried stuffs. Its just tat i eat alot more for each dish.

Sometimes I wonder, why ppl say small kids dun like to eat vege, or they got the bad habit of not eating dinner. From wat i perceive, its not tat they dun like vege, or not eating dinner, is that the vege doesnt taste nice, or the food is just not nice. In order words, We 3 are just very fortunate tat ah ma fed us up, till we are bigger and taller than her.

When im in my pri sch days, ah ma used to fetch me from sch, if i have violin lessons tat day. She will meet me in my school canteen. Remember, that time not everybody got a phone. However, i still managed to find my ahma, and she still managed to find me everytime she say she will meet me.

SHe will carry my violin down for me, and has already prepared my lunch. It is contained in a metal food container, usually fishball noodles or porridge. Its just taste very nice. I will always eat so fast tat ah ma wil ask me to slow down. EAt slowly, no need to rush.

After eating, she will bring me to my violin class, and tell me not to run away, when class end. She will sit outside n wait for me. After my lesson, i will always run to ah ma, and she will bring me home. She would have a bao for me then, to ask if im hungry. It will usually be chao shao bao, or meat bao.

Every Chinese New Year eve, without fail, i will stay over at ah ma hse, will help her wash the kitchen, the living room, the corridors. I will help her decorate the house, prepare sweets, puttng them into containers, open up packets of drinks to get ready to serve relatives the next day.

She will then wake up very early in the morning, to get ready the food, especially, Red Dates Soup ( Ang zo Teh). That's just superb. It used Charcoal to cook. All the ang bao she give, doesnt come with ang bao. ''??". meaning she just give us cash, n say she just want us to listen to her, n not to argue among each other.

When all the relatives come, she is very happy. She always makes sure she serves them to the best, and will never go home hungry. And This year, only this year, 2008, due to stupid deployment in apd, i cant celebrate my 1st day of chinese new year. However, i still managed to stay ah ma hse the whole day on the 2nd day.

Alot of people console me, by saying she has gone to a better place. True, she has gone to a better place. She doesnt have to suffer the pain of being a stroke patient, she doesnt have to take further medication. She doesnt have to wake up early to do chores. She left with everything in the house still intact, including the wok she used to cook for almost 40 years, the coffee maker she used for 20+ years, the chairs she sat on the day she stayed in hdb(1978), and alot more things.One thing i can say, She left with a smile. She did not smile, even once, when she was in the hospital. However, SHE Smiled on the day She left us.

Ah ma, I will always remember you, always. You have successfully fed us 3 brothers up, and you have done more than being a grandma. You guide us. You teach us. You never scold us. Sometimes, you rather see us be happy, than you yourself are.

You rather let us enjoy the good food before you try. You never let us do the chores, as you want us to relax, but sometimes we still insisit. You never let us go hungry. You tell us, not to complain how messy our home is, as it is fortunate that we got a house to live in. You tell us, not to fight, or argue with each other, and always tell us to give in to each other.

You tell us not to argue or be fussy over small things. If others want to have it, let them have it. You tell us not to worry about exams, as Ah Gong will bless us, and will make sure we do well. You tell me not to worry about your driving test day, as Ah gong will make sure I pass. True enough, I pass, despite nearly meeting an accident.

My 1st dream after getting my license, is to drive to Your house, and fetch you, to come over to my house to have dinner. I made it. My 2nd dream, is to ask you to attend my wedding, and let you be a Great Grandma. I did not managed to do it.

Ah ma, rest in peace. I will always, always, remember you.

My Ah ma...part 3

Reference to last post, I spoke about the funeral being held for 5 days.

Yea. Its there for 5 days, and my parents and the uncles and aunts took turns to stay till dawn to look after ahma. I stayed once, and I did not feel tired, until 6 am. Its alright, as i have stayed throughout the night during my night shifts.

Every day, Every night, there would be visitors coming over to see ah ma. At one time, ah ma longtime friend of almost 60 years came. 60 years!! At first, she saw a funeral wake at blk 33, she thought it couldnt be my ah ma, since my ah ma lives at blk31. Due to lack of space , then we move to blk 33.

She walked into the wake, and looked around for any familiar faces. She saw my cousin, and my big bro, and this has somehow confirmed her worry that the person in the coffin is my ahma, her friend of 60 years. She walked closer and closer, to the altar, and when she saw my ah ma photo, she was dumbfounded and was rooted to the spot. She stood there, as she could not believe that the person lying in the coffin is my ah ma, and her best friend.

It was just too shocking and unbelievable for her. She sat down and had a chat with my big bro. My bro explained everything to her and she was sad when she heard what actually happened to my ahma. She broke down in tears. She came every night then, with teary eyes, every time she saw ahma's photo.

I can confidently say that almost 80% of the whole block of 31, Bedok South Ave 2 know my ahma, and almost 50% of the people in market and the stall owners in the bedok market know my ah ma too. Yes. My ah ma has alot of friends, and she has made alot of friends.

Everywhere in the market. I remembered in my primary school days, i used to stay on sat nights to accompany ah ma to the market on sun morning. Wherever she walked, she would stop and greet her friends. Along the way to the market, people would greet her and she would smile back to them.

When she reached the market, she would be greeted by her group of friends sitting down chatting. She would den introduce me to her friends, and her friends will flatter my ahma as her grandson is growing up. They would also joke with her, and say me, the grandson, so helpful, go to market to help ahma carry groceries.

My ah ma would chat with them for a while, den proceed to buy breakfast n groceries to cook for dinner that night. She would always worry abt my breakfast 1st. After buying breakfast, she would go inside the wet market to buy groceries. Every stall she patronise, the owner is my ahma friends. Yes. EVERY!. When she buy fishcake, as i like to eat, the fishcake uncle will treat me with 1 free fishcake, which i eat on the spot.

When she buy fishballs, the owner gave her extra. When she buy vege noodles, she does not have to queue, as the lady boss is her friend. and SEE!. my ah ma got such a great network of friends. And, i always feel flattered whenever i walked with ahma, as every of her friends will praise me.

One great moment that i enjoyed with ahma on our way to the market. When we walked to the market, we will walk past a fitness corner. The fitness corner will have the ' Stones' which are for u to step on. I brought ah ma there, as tat can help blood circulation to the body, but it will be a bit painful while stepping on the stones.

When ahma 1st tried, she walked with her slippers on, cos she say its painful. But i tell her '' Cannot!!, like tat not pain!.. must feel the pain den good!''

Then my ahma slowly took off her slippers, and i helped her carry tat. We then walked through the stones together, n i held my grandma to help her finish the stone trail. After completing the trail, my ah ma will show a face of pain, and she will ' wah!'. Then, i would ask her, '' ah ma SOng bo?.'' Then she will laugh and say '' SOnG song!'' She wore back the slippers and continue our way to the market.

During the funeral's days, I walked past this fitness corner, and it really bring back the great and loving memories i have with ah ma. The feeling was so strong, that i can remember the moments i played with ah ma, our funny expressions while walking on the stones. I'm feeling a sense of loss when i walked through the stone trail. I really want my ah ma to come back.

Whenever neighbours came to the wake, they will say the same great things about ahma, and with the same reaction when they heard abt what happend to ah ma. They would say:

'' your ah ma is a very friendly person''

''almost all the ppl in the block noe her''

''I saw her almost everymorning when i go to market''

'' She is a very hardworking person. I always saw her with 2 hands full of stuffs, and carrying them

all the way home''

'' She can run 2 markets every morning''

'' She is a very strong person''

'' Her cooking is very good''

'' She dotes on her grandsons very much''

''Your ah ma used to buy us food while we are gambling''

''your ah ma is a kind person''

'' your ah ma works alot. Back in the kampong days, she used to wake up early in the morning, to fetch 2 big pails of water''

.

...

there are just too many words to describe my ah ma alr. Too many.

Its late. I will follow up in the next post.

My Ah ma...part 2

Alright. I think this post got to be a super long one. If I cant end it, it will continue in the next post.

These few weeks have been a difficult week for me, and I can say it is the worst week that I could ever had, one that i would never want it to come, one that I would give up everything for it not to come. But it came.

My last post, 21 sept 2008, my grandma is still struggling with stroke. From day 1, I have visited her every day after my work, boarding bus from airport and take the train to outram, SGH. Everytime i went there, I just hope that the ECG ( electorcardiogram) is responding, the heartbeat and blood pressure are in the healthy range.

I would then heaved a sigh of relieve. I would then go over to her bedside, call 'Ah ma!, ding neng lai liao!!', hoping that she would respond. I would held her hands tight and give her warmth. I would try to massage her toes, to improve bloodflow, so in anycase she got to walk again in the future, it would be easier for her.

I would massage her thighs and muscles, to keep them warm. I would tell her not to worry, everything is fine, and you can go home a few days later. I would make your favourite coffee, cook your favourite mixed vegetable, fried fish, and anything you want.

Every evening I came, I did all those things, and also asked the nurse to take special care of you. I also hoped for the doctor to say something good about your health. The days are long, and every call or sms i receive, i received it with fear and anxiety. Everytime i open the inbox, I just hoped its not from my mum or my big bro, or if from them, it must be something positive.

on 25/9 evening, I came to visit you. I just knew that you had a blood transfusion in the morning, due to a loss of blood. The medicine, aspirin, that was given to reduce the swollen of the brain, has caused the thining of stomach wall, causing the wall to tear, and bleeding within the stomach.

The doctor discovered it the previous night, when the nurses changed the diapers. Blood was collected in the diapers, and blood was also immediately given to supplement the loss. The good side is that the swelling of the brain has stopped.

However, i realised that your heart is beating at an uneasy rate, beating ard 100-110. I saw you breathing in and out profusely, with lips flipping in and outwards. I sensed something must be wrong, and I asked the nurse. The nurse told me, it's a normal sign, as patient has just been give blood transfusion, and blood is just pumping faster to transport blood to other parts of the body.

Quite logical. Problem is, blood transfusion was given in the morning, and by the nurse, the heart rate is the same(100-110) since morning, till then (8pm) when i visit you. The nurse asked me not to worry, as they have given you medicine to bring down the beat rate. I then decided to leave alr, and hoped everything would be back to normal the next day. That was also the day, the only day, I did not massage your hand, fingers, toes, thighs, as blood vessels were connected to your body parts due to the transfusion.

I left with a heavy heart, as i think that something must be wrong with the increasing heart rate, even though the nurse says its normal. I just prayed that everything will be alright. Little did I know, that was the last time I entered and left SGH.

Early morning at 6am, 26/9/2008, my mum and dad all woke up and started getting ready to go out. It puzzled me, but i did not think too much. Then my big bro called me, and said that SGH on-call doctor called him, and told him that Ah Ma's heart was beating at 150-160!!, and it has been beating for almost the whole night!!!. It's equivalent to sprinting 100m race continuously for almost 6 hrs!.

From what I know, normal person heartbeat is between 70-80, and elderly at ard 60-70. Vigorous exercises may increase heartbeat. However, my Ah Ma is lying on the bed!! Why the heart is beating so fast then? When my brother called me, I'm very worried that something is wrong, and he was waiting for my mum n dad to fetch him up at ahma's hse, and proceed to SGH.

I'm just as worried, but i did not follow them. With heart pumping at 110-120 the night before, I could see how hard her breathing is, with her heart moving up and down, lips flipping due to the rush of air in and out of the mouth. At 150-160, i just could't imagine how she is reacting to the abnormal heart beat.

I stayed on the bed, while my parents and big bro rushed to SGH. Then, my phone sounded. 1 message received. It's the message that from day 3 (the day ah ma got stroke), till then ,

I DID NOT WANT TO SEE!!.. When i opened the message, it read:

'' ah ma passed away at 7am..''

I jumped out of the bed immediately, and shouted ' AH MA!!!!!!'. I gave a call to my big bro. i heard him weeping. He said they were caught in the morning jam, and doc had called them to inform them ah ma has stopped breathing at 7am.

When my big bro reached her bedside, she was not moving already, but there was a smile on her face. Yes, a smile. When he touched her hands, they were cold. No one was beside her when she left. We were told, that means ah ma dun wan us to see her leave, as she doesnt want us to worry. She left with a smile, which means an end to the suffering she has endured these 9 days......

They stayed to do the documentation and follow up. I sat in front of tv, switched off. What went through my mind was all the memories i had with ah ma, if calculated, it's just ' infinite' GB. My memories with Ah Ma were never ending, and I would say, Priceless. It's just too much, too many things, from the day i was born till the last day i heard her say the last words.

I dragged out a bag full of photo albums, and started looking for ah ma. I just couldn't hold back my tears when i saw her carrying the 3 of us, when we were still young, and when ah gong is still around.

It's just too overwhelming for me to take. I applied for emergency leave immediately, to request to see my ah ma again. I packed up, and went to ah ma hse. Memories just flow through my mind ceaselessly. I just couldn't imagine the world w/o ah ma.

When i reached ah ma hse, my dad was at the void deck. I asked where's ah ma's body. He said it's with the casket ppl, and they would bring her back in the afternoon. Meanwhile, workers were fixing the backdrop, the tables, chairs, everything that is required for a funeral. Ah ma's funeral was held 1 block away,at 33, as her block,32, does not have enough space for a funeral.

When ah ma's body came back, in a lorry, with her coffin, I was very emotional. It was wrapped and tied in plastic. A ceremony was held to put her body inside the coffin. Before that, they got to dressed up ah ma.

When they opened up the plastic, I saw ah ma. She was dressed in her usual attire that she wore to the market, simple brown old lady clothings with blue pants. From what i knew, that was what my big bro packed in my ahma's bag, and told ah ma to wear that attire when she was discharged from hospital after operation. Little did we know that She didnt walk out with that attire, but being carried out.

The scene was just SOOO sad and solemn , that i couldnt hold back my tears and cried. Needless to say, i think my big bro feels the most, as he was the one who chose ah ma's attire to wear out of hospital. Even though the casket people covered the scene they dressed up ah ma, I could see through from an angle, the smile on her face.

It just made my heart sank even more. A ceremony was then held, and ah ma was placed inside the coffin. The priest told us to say the last few words to ah ma..

Chi : '' ni bao wo ta, wo wui ni lao''

Eng: '' you carry me from young, i feed you till you are old''

Hokk: '' li po wa dua, wa qi li lao''

This is really the time when my heart really sanked into a bottomless pit. A time i cried the most. I time i just couldnt stop my tears. A time I just hoped it's a dream. I walked round her coffin, and saw the smile on her face, with her beautifully dressed up.

I stretched my hand and touched her shoulders, and told her to go peacefully, and not to bring any worries with her, as all of us had grown up, and will now take care of ourselves, and will do what you have always told us to do last time. We will live by your values you have taught us from young, and not disappoint you.

Coffin was then closed and nailed. We were told to turn back n not to see while the people nailed the coffin. Anyway, it's just a painful process. The funeral was held for 5 days.

Alright. I know this post is very emotional, and it also took me great pains to write out everything i remembered. I knew there are some more things which i can left out, as there are way too many things. I will continue in the next post.

Till then, see ya.

My Ah ma...part 1

A fall. A fracture in the right elbow. Went to hospital. Get bandaged. Still able to walk, shout, talk, laugh, smile, joke, complain. Prepared for an op for the elbow. Feeling depressed. Stayed in hospital the day b4 the op. Went thru op. A success. Still under anesthetia. But still can talk and respond. A day later. Something unfortunate happen. What originally looks like a minor stroke becomes a serious one. She's lying on the bed for 5 days already till date. She cant talk. She can only open her eyes, move her left hand, wriggle her toes when i feel her feet.

My beloved AH MA.

it came to us, everyone as a shock.

The day u fell down, i dint bring you to hospital as i have to work night shift. I remembered calling you using tv1 phone to talk to you that night, asking you to take good care of ur bandaged elbow, asking you to be extra careful, and telling you its just a small matter, and everything will be alright. You assured me that its just a small problem, and even this fall wont kill me.

I visited you the next sunday. Its quite disheartening to see your heavily bandanged right elbow. You tell me its okay. You said its very itchy inside, but i told you to bear with it a while more, and after the op, you can move again. You asked why the hand is swollen, maybe its due to the excessive bandage that reduces blood flow to hand.

I helped you massaged, and said this will improve blood flow, and swell will subside tomorrow. You tell me the whole story of how you fell, from the time when you want to repair a hole in the ceiling of you room with some cement, till you got bandaged. You repeated the whole story 3 times, and I assure you it will be okay after the op.

You will recover soon. I can see that you looked depressed, from your eyes, as you looked at the bandage. You are sad when you said you don't want this to happen also, and no one expected this. This is also what not she wants.

She also said why people just keep blaming and blaming her. She said providing money to go for these treatments does not give them the power to blame her. If she can, she does not want all these money, as she can pay for herself. She does not want any help from any people. I assured her that no one pay for her. All this costs are paid by insurance agency, and I tell her not to worry about the costs.

If not enough, I also have money for her to go for treatment. I tell her not to think about why she fall, but look forward how she can move her arms again after the op. I stayed till quite late that night, until ard 10+, and she asked me to take a cab home, so it will be faster.

She say she will provide the cab fare, but I told her its ok, as I'm not in a rush, and there is still bus 38 to take. While I'm preparing to go home, she asked me if I wanted to take some mooncakes home, since she has bought alot. That day is mooncake festival. I said some will do. While she was sitting down, I tell her to tell me the place of the mooncakes and i will take myself.

I tell her to sit down, and I will show her how many I will take. While I took only 5 small mooncakes, she brought me to the kitchen again, and put 4 more BIG ones into my bag. She asked me to take more, so i can eat more. I said enough alr, but she just said take it. I helped her back to her seat, and asked her to sleep early, as she got to admit in hospital the day b4 op.

I told her I will get home safely and I will visit her tomorrow evening at SGH. Before I went back, she complained of some shoulder pain, as she got to hang the bandaged arm around her neck. I said dun worry, and i gave her a shoulder massage. She said no need to trouble me, but I continue massaging her. After a while she say enough alr, as it was getting late and I should go home. Before i left, i assured her again it will be fine and everything will be okay after the op.

THe next day, I went to SGH after my work and arrived at ard 7 plus. I found the ward and the bed and saw my ah ma. She was sitting on the bed, instead of lying down. She said it was uncomfortable to lie down, so she prefer to sit up. I feel her right hand. It was not swelling and in fact it was better after I did a small massage on it the previous night. I told her '' See, I told you, the swelling is gone after i massage it''.

She smiled at me and said ya. I massage her shoulder and said if it was still painful. She said yea. She then pulled out the cloth immediately and said she hated wearing that, cos it hurts his neck and shoulders. She said '' mai mai, bo yong eh'' and threw the cloth to other side of bed.

She then smiled at me, and asked if I have had my dinner. I replied '' Jia liao ka lai ( eaten b4 i came)'', even though I have not eaten since 12pm. I just wan to assure I had my dinner, and dun wan her to worry. She was hunching her back, as the bandaged arm was heavy, and she rest the arm on her lap.

I can sense she was feeling sad, but i tried ways to make her smile, make her happy. I told her '' Ah ma, wa eh zha bo peng you lai kua li liao ( my gf is here to see u)'' She turned and smiled at val. I was so happy. She then replied ''Ah ma jin ko lian hor ( im pitiful..)''. I said no la, my gf miss u very much, long time dint see you alr. She smiled again.

I den told her the mooncakes were nice, and I will bring some for her tomorrow. I told her after tomorrow everything will be fine alr, and she can move her arm again, and dun need to hang that cloth again. When i left, she was still sitting up on the bed, hunching her back, while resting right arm on her lap. Her face showed her sadness and worriness.

I felt that my ah ma is quite pitiful. I then went back and talked to her again, while my parents had left. She asked me why come back, and i told her I wanted to talk to her more. She den said she wanted to go toilet, and i helped her up from bed.

I brought her and handed over to my mum to bring her inside the toilet. She said she can handle herself, as she entered the cubicle. When she came out, I helped her, and told her i will come tomorrow. When i leave, she was still in her sitting position, and this makes me feel uneasy, n worried that she may be lonely.

Tuesday, the op day. I came a little earlier, reaching ard 6 plus, and i was told that the anesthetia could take some time to ward off. She had her op in the morning, ard 8 plus, ended ard 9 plus. My gu gu was with her the whole day after the op, and she told my gu gu that she was 1st in queue, and lasted only a while.

When i reached her bed, she was sleeping. I saw her yawn. My gu gu said she had talked to her , but she was just tired. When my gu gu called ' mother mother' , ah ma woke up and opened her eyes. She said, '' TAO HIN, SEU AI TOR AI TOR..( feeling drowsy, with feeling of vomitting..). '' and TATS the last words that came out from my ah ma's mouth. seriously.

I went home tat day, and told her I will come very early to accompany her when she woke up.

Wednesday, I'm prepared to visit ah ma in the afternoon when she woke up till night. While im on mrt, at city hall, my mum msg me. she got a minor stroke in the morning, and doctors are monitoring her. That immediately shocked me and Im feeling dammm worried.

I just prayed nothing serious had happened. I had just wished I could accompany her the whole afternoon, and never thought of something like tat could happen. When i arrived at outram, i ran up the hill and over to SGH, to see my ah ma. I rushed to the ward and did not see her. She has been moved to another room.

I went in. Im heart-broken. She was lying on the bed, with a heavily bandaged right arm, and an ECG( electrocardiogram) beside her. I tried to call her. No response. This is not what I had expected. I'm damm emotional that time, but i tried to hold back my tears.

My uncles were sitted outside the ward, and asked them what actually happened. They told me, ah ma was still able to get up to go toilet early in the morning, and she was helped by a nurse. She returned to her bed after tat.

When the doctor was on her morning rounds, she discovered my ah ma is not responding, and saliva dripping from her mouth. a sign of a partial paralysis. Doc suspected it could be a stroke. and then she was brought to another room. My uncles told me she could see, but just couldnt talk.T_T..

Im going to see her later.

I shall pause here.

She's recovering well, and I prayed she will wake up and sit up again.

Reframe and Action!

Yoyo!..

I have transferred my patrol team to the admin side, at least for this month, till october, which is SOO near my ORD date. Life is definitely very different, as i have to work every weekday, but shorter hours per day. The admin side im working at right now is the RCAR ( Regulated air Cargo Agent Regime) department. Dealing with cargo staffs and security measures all tat. However, by the time I entered, the dept required less manpower alr, since its official launch is over. I can count myself lucky:)

Alright. This week, I came across a chapter about REFRAMING. This is about changing the way you perceive things. In other words, You give something its meaning, and not something give you its meaning. Something GOOD can be perceived as something Bad, whereas something bad, can be perceived as something GOOD!. Every coin, there's a head and a tail, every concave, there's a convex. Some examples :

1) You fail your maths, and have to stay back for remedial class..
Reframe: You fail your maths, means that your foundation and concepts of maths are weak, hence you require extra lessons from your teacher. Furthermore, you can learn more things which the teacher did not teach in the class with you. You can build your relationship with the teacher too.

2)Your boss keep picking at you, no matter how small the matter is.
This means your boss is very attentive of your actions! This can encourage you to strive for the very best to not even to make a single mistake which makes ur boss unhappy.

3)You did not get the grades you expected, and did not get into the college/uni you desired.
This means you got to start working harder to get 'exceeding expectation' results you want, and this give you bragging rights that you can do as well as, or even better than those who get into local uni, but slacked after they are proud with their results.


Anyway, there are alot of meanings to the things that happen around us, and it depends on you to give its meaning. Hiowever, this require some practice and skills to change the meaning. You can always try, by thinking OTHERWISE what people usually think, and as for me, i like to 'talk cock' or turn things round until it became lame..

Alright. Some people may say that you are in self-denial, or trying to console yourself. YEA!. sometimes i agree!. However, by changing its meaning, in the case of the boss keep picking on you, and actually your BOss is a F***up person who no matter what just like F******* you everyday he sees you, by changing its meaning, or by taking ACTION, you can change things, maybe transfer out to other offices, than just complaining everyday to your friends, your boss ^%^&(, ^$*((*#....


1 week is coming to an end..anyway. today is payday:)

Invest in yourself!

HAHA..
im 20 years old and 1 month 23 days now, as i just see my latest post is when i just turned 20..HAHA...

i apologise to everyone to keep u all waiting soo long...lol..

Anyway, ignore my tag la..
im not spending time counting down my ord date..tat i forget to update..
actually..im a very busy person last month(Aug).. and i can say i will be busier in the coming months..i will tell u why later..(:

I will start from the month of July..right after my Birthday..

1)mid-July

Another of my close friend in team D oRd..he's steven. He taught me alot alot of things, since i joined the team last year, and its kinda like a mentor to me. He will teach you everything he noe, when u ask, and he's a very efficient guy. A smart, creative, and a fast learner. He can lodge a report in 5 mins, access almost every case in ap, and i can say hes more than most of the regulars. And i think this is the kind of ppl the SPF and govt will want to look for. However, we share the same sentiments as other pnsf, why give so much during ur ns, when other regulars are getting paid higher than us and doing their bare minimum, and making use of us to work for them. Seriously, i think the force needs more smart and capable ppl, instead of bootlickers backstabbers and 'tolak' kings.( tolak=push in malay)


Anyway, thx steven for helping me so much, esp teaching me tv1 and helping me in one way or another. And now, the team is quieter and soon, it will be dannesh alone..and by next year, the whole anti-ang gang has ord-ed lo!..123th,124th,125th,126th..maybe left 127th, but they are just too quiet..lol

steven: extreme right

He's 125th intake. Next, its me:)


2)July 19th


Yes!. this is a special day:)..

Me n val went to the Singapore Flyer! ya. after soo long it has opened..haha.

alright..2 tix=$59, can be bought online on its website.
Then, they were having the NDP rehearsal. However, i took the flyer at 9pm, and it was just about time it ended..so wat i saw was people leaving the field, and students clearing the seats..LOL
The night scenery was good, but i can say there was not much to see YET. 1 side u can see the night of CBD, tall buildings and skyscrapers lighting up the sky, probably the NDP area , and looking at cars dashing along the well-lit expressway. Another side, u see the dark side of CBD, yes, nothing at all, cos its not lighted, and i dunno if its a sea, or a dark pitch of field. Just beside it is the Integrated Resort which is still constructing..
here are some of the pics..

3)July 31.

Me n Val went down to Cathay Adidas to make our personalised running shoes.

You guys must be wondering.. i make shoes for wat.. how come i suddenly become so enthusiastic about running.. wat inspired me..

Alright.. its because me n val have signed up for the Standard Chartard Marathon 2008 which is on dec7 ( by then,ORD-OH!). Ok la. we just signed up for the shortest route. 10km only. Val got it free since shes a staff, but i paid $45 for it. Some may say '' Chay..10 km only''..but for me , i have yet to run a marathon , even in police training, i never exceed 3 km.LOL. Talking about you army guys.. wat i do is just a fraction of wat u do, since i keep hearing u all complaining about wat ' 21km march la..42km march la..''..mine?..3 km.. HAHA. somemore?..i dun need to carry FBO and wear heavyboots like wat u guys do. so 10 km is indeed a challenge for me. 10 km this year, 21km next year, and den 42KM!. n yes. i must win Chris!!..HAHA

After 3 weeks , we got our shoes. 200+ after discount of 30%. i can say this will last me at least 10 years of running.

4)24Aug

Yes. thats the Singapore Bay Run, also called the Army-Half Marathon. I went with my team D friends and some from the Admin side. Hearing that our Commander Apd is running with us, i thought alot of ppl will be following, to bootlick or carry balls, BUT to my surprise, alot of bootlickers from our APD dint follow, becos, they CANNOT run!.. they rather carry balls in stn!.

Anyway, i signed this up back in May, and you know wat?. We- me daanesh azman- just signed up for the 6km run. After we finished our run, we thought, ''Wat is 6km??''..lol..its just a waste of our money!..lol. we got nothing back, at least those runnig 10km or 21km got their finisher's medal. WE?. brouchers.WAT The..

As i said, we signed up in May, and tat time, we haven even go for our IPPT, and start training for our 2.4km. So, 6km is like too much for us. Its like a mental barrier; we dare not look tat far at 10km or even 21km. However, right after our Ippt, we felt tat we could have run the longer distance. but its too late. Then, looking at almost 60% of the army running 21km..It just show a sign- Police just arent fit enough.

Im referring to majority. Seriously, looking at my stn alone, its really sad to see so many 2.4km failers, some carrying BIG tummy. Oh ya, im not referring to the NSguys. And when u see these 'big tummies' promoted, u sense someting. They are only good at thing- carry.Carry wat?. You shld noe.



5) Another thing im busy about- READING.
HAHa. then u may ' WAH, serious anot!!. READING??!!..lol.you read?..HAHAHAHA''
me, ' yes. reading'.
Seriously, like i have said earlier in my previous posts, i never finish a book beyond its introduction..NOT even chapter 1!!.haha. School literature books?..LOL. i cant remember anything.haha.

Talking about it, i have visited bookstores, TIMES, Popular, Harris..., more often. And the ONLY section i go to is "SELF-HELP/ SELF Improvement'', and maybe the ' Best Sellers-Non-fiction''
ONly this 2 sections excite me. Other sections, i will sleep.

Since then, i found my passion for ' SELF-HELP' books.You ask me to read Harry Potter and wat wat wat, no matter how interesting, i will sleep. i rather watch its movie. However, for self-help books, i can read continuously for 5 hrs.( ok la. 5hrs is short for bookworms..). I can see the difference why i prefer self-help books.

In Fiction, 1 thing i do not like is characters. In long stories, there are way too many characters!!..and additional characters may come in the later part of the stories. This makes me confused. However, fiction books need characters, if not it won't be exciting.

In Self-Help books, there is only 1 charcter- YOU, and maybe some people with success stories.
Humans work by emotions. When the author is writing in 2nd person(YOU), u will continue reading to see wat he is talking about you. Like the FIRST book i have just finished, 'MEN FROM MARS, WOMEN FROM VENUS ' , the author , John Gray, is telling about how men are different from women, and how you can have a good relationship with your partner.
From there, you will know How come disagreements may arise when you are tooo close to your partner, or How come She may be upset even though u shower her with lots of love?
YES!, when you experience these problems b4, you will want to take up this book and READ!!

The SECOND book tat i had completed is '' SECRETS of SELF-MADE MILLIONAIRE'' By ADAM Khoo. Sometimes, when u read this kind of book, esp the ppl in my station, they may say '' WAH, millionaire AH!. U wan to become one ah?..(den they laugh)''. Alright, these ppl are just satisfied with their low-paid gahmen job. I have no comments abt tat.
I read this book, and understand HOW come somebody can Earn so much, with someone earning so little, with both doing the SAME job? and HOW come someone whose income is lower, is richer than someone whose income is 5times higher?. This is about managing your money:)

YES. As you can see, all the self-help books talks about YOU!. U r the main character!!.. they are written to help the person reading it, n tat's why they're called ' SELF-HELP'' books.HAHA. To find out more, read these books ba. Some can be found in the library.

Another thing i like to stress is..
Invest in YOURSELF.

that's the most valuable investment you MUST have, and Only this Investment will reap the Highest Returns.

For me, I have stopped playing my PSP. YEA STOPPED!. i realised i have been wasting too much time after playing for almost 1 1/2 yrs of NS. 1 1/2 yrs is quite long.lol. Everytime i play is at least 2-4 hrs. Do i gain anything?. You lose more. My vision become more blurred.. fingers become numb..waste electricity somemore. OK la..just play occasionally to relieve stress..

Reading?. i get my vision blurred after reading too long.. But i gain more. Knowledge. Information. That's why school teachers , esp english teachers keep emphasizing on reading. BUt they only promote storybooks. Tats why i dun read since young. If they promote SeLF-help books, i may pick up the habit earlier.HAha. Alright, let's not blame others.

OK. ANother Super-long entry..
not good to clump diaries together. YOu will find yourself too much to write. Updating regularly is good. Im saying about myself. =D


o.r.d=1 month 16days.

turning 20...

yea.
im 20 years old from 7/7..

seems abit old, as i can no longer call myself 19, in my work place where 80% of the people are over 21..LOL. Its surprising to see other's expression when i told them im just 19, n they just wont believe until i show them my ic.
its always good to be younger than others, showing ur capabilities as u r doing the job of others 1 or 2 yrs older than u..

anyway, time flies and never returns..
so treasure the time u have, as u never get a chance to be young again!.

turning 20, also means im edging close to being an adult in the society. Its quite disappointing when i keep missing out the GST rebates or Singapore Shares which are only given to peeps
>=21 yrs old by the gahmen. And when u see most of ur colleagues collecting them, amounting to some 600-800, and urself getting 100 for being a NSF, u wished u were older. This rebates doesnt come often, not after every Budget report at the end of every financial year. U get it when the economy is good, or during election years.
Ha. so for me to have a chance to get it, it will be in yr 2010.

QUite an irony for turning 20.

:)

40 tips for better life...

Read it to get a better life:)


40 Simple Tips for Better Life for 2008 and many years ahead

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’

5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the nagative blues away.

18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Remember God heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often.

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for _______. Today I accomplished ____.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass.
You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.

the guys of 124th intake has left. Weicong and Shahril.

this is the last photo we took on the last day of their shift. this is just the usual 4 of us who waited for bus everytime the shift ends. However, it includes other buddies like daanesh tim 3 faisals fahmi azman luqman n lot more..

anyway, we had a great day on their last shift.it was jus a memorable night, n i hope more will come b4 i ord :D. up next, 125th intake...


its really fast. I still remember what Shahril told me when i 1st entered the team. '' 8 more months of s***!! ''..haha. and see, he has ORD-ed, which means 8 months has passed since i entered team.lol. Indeed, it was a great 8 months with them, and 6 months with 123th intake too.

All the best to u Shahril, in ur studies in SMU, and maybe see u as a Banking n Finance grad during reservice.
All the best to u too Weicong, our commander's award receipient, in ur future!

yea. another post about ns life. Seriously, Ns has been a part of our lives ever since we are into in. We talk abt it almost everyday, n it almost occupies 70% of the conversations with friends. Euro 2008, uni life, girlfriends may come after tat.

Its sad to see 2 more NS guys died during training. Just a few months back, a police trainee fainted during his 2.4km ippt trial run. Deaths during Ns. it's ranked top of the news that parents wldnt want to hear. Imagine they had spent 19-20 years bringing up their kids, n just to lose them on the course of national duty. This is not to blame ns or wat. The point is that, it is impt to take care of one's self, knowing when to and when not to stretch one's limit. No point using ur life just to get a best timing in 2.4km run. No point using ur life just to show ur officer or PC tat u r the cream of the crop. If u won, you get what you want. If u lost, you get media attention, and maybe a promotion too.


I hope that lives lost during NS can be brought down to the minimal, zero is the best. However, accidents are unpredictable, but they are preventable.

You may get media attention for 1 month, conpensation from gov, state funeral, and ur friends colleagues and the public may grieve for you. Your parents will cry over you for years to come, and will always remember you as their dearest son. One thing to note; you never get to see all these..


ok.enough of emotions..

Im feeling ORD-sick..

June.
and almost 1/2 of the yr is gone..
so wat have i achieved?..hmm..

not alot..at least i have completed another 5 more months of ns.
so, it left me with 5 more months ..w/o counting my leave..hmm..
so maybe ard 4 months left only..:)
anyway, its always boring to blog abt ns..

Other than tat, i just found my interest into reading. Seriously, i have not finish a book before since the day i started to walk, n although we students are encouraged to read n read n read, i never complete a storybook throughout my 12 yrs in sch. I either tend to give up the book 1/2 way, cos i dun understand the story, or just keep on reading the book, den fell asleep, hence,
nothing gets into my brain. err, i dun think i even manage to read 1/2 the book, maybe only 20 pages, including the preface, the content page, the introduction...so maybe i just cover <10 pages of the story.. quite Pathetic ya?..

However, what triggers me to start to read again, is this book. I came across this book when i went to Times bkshp to browse thru some books while waiting for dinner. I sat down on the floor, n decided to pick the nearest book ard me. Then, i saw this book, written by the author, ' ADAM KHOO'. Most people may just give it a miss, but for me, this person ' ADAM KHOO' seems to be found everywhere recently, as i saw his name appearing in every Straits Times newspaper i read everyday, with him giving enrichment courses to children and adults. This just made me curious, how come he is so famous in Sg, but i have never heard of him before?. maybe i had not read enough in the 1st place..lol.

Hence, i decide to pick out this book ' Master Your Mind, Design Your Destiny' written by Adam Khoo, just to satisfy my curiosity for this guy. As i read on, i learned that he has actually written and published quite a no. of books, n the book im reading, was actually published in 2004!. n i just get to read it in 2008!.. but better be late than never:). He's a self-made millionare by 26 yrs old..used to be a problematic child..bla bla bla...

I carry on reading this book, for abt 30 mins, and managed to complete 3 chapters, till i had to leave, as Times was closing alr. While reading, i dun feel any fatigue in me, despite standing in the hot sun the whole day while doing sentry duties. Furthermore, i had completed 3 chapters in 30 mins!. It maybe quite a joke for ppl out there who can read a 1000pg harry potter storybook in 1 day, but for someone who dint even complete a book in 12 yrs( lets no say sch textbooks), its an achievement !.LoL.

So, what makes me read on and on abt this book, that i had to drop it before im being locked in Times for a night?.there are a few chapters which are very realistic, and very useful.
One of them is ' How to achieve What u want in your life?'
So after reading it, i really thinks that everybody are able to achieve almost everything in their life, however, what prevents them from achieving their goals is the way the set their goals, the strategy they used, the actions they have taken, the way they handle failures, the beliefs and values they have while achieving their goals. All these play a part in the formulae to achieve the goal. This is just one of the 3 chapters i read that day.

After leaving Times tat day w/o the book, i felt tat i shld have read a bit more, so i wont have to buy that book home, since i had absorbed 60 % of the contents.lol. However, i think that this book is not like any other storybooks, which u will leave it after reading it, but it is one book tat may have an impact to your present life. Thus, i bought the book, at a Times bkshp discount of 20%. i just cost me $24.

So peps out there, who, like me, never liked story books, may try reading this book. It may just help u to start reading again, and may change your life for the better:D

124th ord this week..
miss u guys!.
Weicong n Shahril..
life in apd will be boring w/o u2 ..

anyway, it will be my turn in 5 months time:)

yes. its time for a monthly update again.lol.
my blog has since become a newsletter,which only gets new entries every month..

the month of may.
the beginning of the end of the English Premier League season 2007/2008, with a few matches more to go. Anyway, the title has already been decided when i wrote this. its Man Utd. However, 1 more exciting match to bring the season to an end. Not much of a surprise this season, with the usual Big 4 occupying the top 4 places. Arsenal..hmm..always has a young team, even when arsene wenger is getting older..

i just read a piece of news, saying a trainee from HTA collasped from a 2.4km run and pronounced dead after sending to hospital. Its quite a shocking news for me, as i ran tat route for my 2.4km IPPT test b4, and passed out from there. Its kinda sad to have this kind of news, especially to the parents, as they brought up their son for 19-20 yrs, just to see their son go in this way.

Usually this kind of mishap happens, fingers will be pointing to the training or the management side. However, sometimes we have to think, if part of the responsibility lies on us, the trainees.
Instructors will definitely call those who r not feeling well to step out of the IPPT. Those feeling sick, will not take, those who think they will definitely fail, will also step out, n give some kind of illness to excuse themselves. So , there left with the fit ones, who dint declare anything. But, how sure are you that they are all fit to take the test?..

Some, may be feeling sick, but did not declare to the instructors, as they may think it just minor illness, like cough or flu, which will be OK after some exercises. Some wanted to challenge themselves, and do not want to lose out to other frens and hence does not wan to skip this test. Some, wants a clean MC / light duty record, so they can get the BEst trainee award when they POP.

Yea. so many reasons for a trainee to persevere thru this test. But little they noe something may happen if they take the risk..

haizz..

after all its still NS..

just Serve n **** off..isnt it?..

tats wat im doing now..

6more months!:)

its mid-april.
time flies.

April 2007...
i just POP..

looking back.. time really flies, in NS. as u have no much aim in life for this 2 yrs, and NSF just look forward to ord only. Anyway, we are all bound by Enlistment act. It is a law to serve.
It is also quite boring to talk abt Ns here all the time. In order not to waste this 2 yrs, it will be quite meaningful to learn something that you may not have the time to do it next time, or to experience something new.

My savings are starting to build up this month, ever since i have stopped withdrawing money for regular driving lessons. Savings are impt, but sometimes, it depreciates due to increasing inflation, n food prices getting higher every week, with ur money getting smaller every minute. Newspapers articles have also highlighted that banks are slashing their interest rates as they cant afford to keep up with the inflation rate, which means saving ur money is not a very good idea to deal against inflation. But the better idea is to INvesT, in things like properties, which its value will be increasing n increasing, and spend less on items like electronics, cars, which will depreciate n depreciate..

Reports have also showed that people who are willing to give or share their money with others are happier.
Is it true?. HAHA. maybe u can try out!. Try to give ur friends a treat on the day u get a pay rise or you win lottery. Or , u can donate more than u usually give, when ppl approach you with their 'flag-day' cans. Seriously, and you will feel that you have done something great. However, it depends on individuals, cos u cant expect a miser to give a $1 coin donation, as $1 can buy him 4 bottles of 500ml ntuc-brand of mineral water which can last him at least 2 days.

Coming to almost 1 yr 4 months in ns, i came to see how different kind of bosses work. and let me give a brief account of What kind of bosses you will come across, maybe in the future..

The following Bosses will encourage you to quit ur job n look for greener pastures elsewhere..

1. Your Boss is a Postman.
He likes to distribute jobs and tasks to others, even his own. In the end, his hands will be empty and his men will be the one working their lungs out.

Familiar Conversation:

Boss: '' Hey, help me take this case.''
man: '' but boss, this case is for u , not for me, and it states specifically your name too.''
Boss: '' its ok, im giving you an opportunity to learn''
man: '' its just a nicer way of saying you want me to do for u.''

2. Your Boss is a 'thousand-hand' Buddha
He like to push away responsibilities, and tasks when being approached by others. He is being protected by an aura that nobody can approach him for help.

Familiar Conversation:

man: '' Boss, how to send this up to the management?. Can you help me?.''
Boss: '' Err.. Im not v sure, maybe u can ask others for help.''

man: '' Boss, the Chairman want to see you to ask you why the absent rate for your team is so high.''
Boss: '' Err, Sam, can you go for me instead?. i think you know more about this than i do.''

3. Your Boss is a leech.
He credits all the achievement you had to him, and thinks that you owe it to him for all your achievement. When it comes to under-achievement or disappointment, he made u responsible for it.

Familiar Conversation:

Boss: '' Hey, congrads on being awarded the Player of the Year award.''
man: '' Thanks, and this all credits to my personal coach, Mr T''
Boss: '' but you also have to thank me for being ur boss.''

man: '' Boss, Chairman want to see you for the damaged oven.''
Boss: '' Why See mE?. im not the one who damaged it!. it shld be you to see him!''
man: '' but boss, its you who tell me to use the oven to cook half-boiled egg for ur breakfast, n now u wan me to be responsible for the damage?.''
Boss: '' ya, but how would i noe the egg would explode inside the oven, and anyway, it is You who put the egg inside, n not me, so u shld answer to chairman, n it shld be u to pay damages!''

4. Your Boss is a 'HUM'-ster.
Not a hamster, but a HUM-ster and a sucker.

Chairman: '' Hey, i need you to go to lvl 1 to help me fetch a file of document. ''
Boss: '' Yes sir.''
Chairman : '' Can you help me buy chicken rice extra chilli and rice w/o skin and more meat?''
Boss : '' Yes sir''
Chairman : '' Actually all these things can be done by my secretary, n i just wan to see if u r a sucker. Seriously, based on the results u have given me, ur team is the worst performing team in the company history, n i have serious doubts abt ur ability to lead the team, but i will not doubt ur ability as a sucker. so can i sack you?
Boss: '' Yes sir.'

5. Your Boss is a monarch
He thinks that whatever he says is right, and when u try to defy him, you will be CONDEMNED.
He wants his orders to be carried out, even if its wrong.

Familiar Conversation:

During a meeting..

Boss: '' I want everybody to go for this team holiday trip.''
man: '' boss, i cant go cos im not rich, n i dunwan to waste extra money''
Boss: '' no money is not an excuse. i wan everybody to go, this is a team event''
man: '' boss, not tat i dun wan to go, is i really really need to support my family, n it will be a burden for me''
Boss: '' Hmm, those who are not going.. im sadly going to say that this will affect your end-of-yr performance report, and maybe ur promotion and bonus too. Thats all i can say.''


these are the main bosses that no one want to have.
but unfortunately, everyone of us will have no choice but to get one, or even 2 in their lives.
Lucky ones, they may not even meet one, n will have good bosses.( touch on these next time)

sadly, i have a Ang CHee B** in the team, which i can say, cover all these 5 bosses. power ya?

To strike out all these probabilities,

BE YOUR OWN BOSS!

MArch is a happening month for me.

although it has not ended yet, alot of activities had taken place, and i hope there are more to come!

1st- Violin concert with SNCO( Soka New Century Orchestra) at the Soka Headquarters at Tampines.

It's the 1st time i got to perfrom in a concert, rather than some performances which you only play 2-3 pieces. This concert is somewhat like the choir concert i used to have during my JC yrs, where your orchestra own the stage, where you almost perfrom all the pieces in the repertoire, where ppl will shout ENCORE for you, and everything will end with a group photo. This really bring me back to the choir days when we really enjoyed ourselves, throwing ppl like president or teachers ard the stage after the concert ends.

However, for this orchestra, i think im one of the eldest there. From what i see, most the players are still in secondary schools, maybe a handful are in post-secondary education. It's quite difficult to click with them, as all the things that we talked abt are worlds apart. Except for a few, who are ard my age, or maybe older than me, then we can talk. Anyway, thats the drawback of this concert. On the other hand, I get to experience the enjoyment of performing again, now in an orchestra.

For this concert, seriously, i only attended 4 rehearsals, of which 3 i have to travel to the other Soka centre at Jurong West , but thx to Mr Wu, my long time music teacher who teaches me since pri.1. He fetched us from simei to jurong n back to simei after rehearsal.If not for him, i dun think i have the energy to go for practices, as it is quite taxing for someone to travel from east to west and west to east for 3 hrs of practice. money is one thing, but time is more impt.ha.

if not for my shift work schedule, i think i can go for more practices. Every practice i went , there ought to be new pieces to be played, n since i would have missed the previous lesson due to shift, i have to learn it on the spot by sight-reading, when others may have played the whole piece upteen times, n most of the time i just managed to play 1/4 of the piece successfully. After practice, i usually went home alone, unlike my choir days, when i can hang out with the friends, esp the basses. One time, it really comes to a time when i just feel like giving this performace a miss, until my teacher call me up again.haha. In the end, concert was a success, i am satisfied with my performance:)

as photography is prohibited( which i duno why), only a few photos are taken discreetly...

waiting ...

playing..


2nd-



Intra- ApD soccer tournament.


It's something everybody in the division is looking forward to, since football is almost part of the daily lives of the fanatic football fans. my team , Delta, of cos, would never give soccer games a miss, since we are alr playing field soccer every fortnight on 1st off days.


We started the competition well, winning 2-0, n for me, playing in my most familiar position, goalkeeper(again). 2nd match, we drew 0-0, after a string of fine saves by the goalkeeper(me), HAHA, but we still lose out on penalty shootout. wat a waste..



Anyway, these games are games that build rapport between team members and also ppl from other teams and the admin side. Shift works are boring, and only these activities can really SPICE UP YouR (ns) LIfe..



3rd-



Release of A lvl results.


This yr saw the release of the new syllabus of A lvl results. And some of my friends are also collecting back their results, and i think they will do well this yr, as they r taking the old syllabus.A lvls results released, tat means uni application starts.hmmm..i still considering if i wan to change my uni course, as the course i will be studying later on will determine my career and future.Just apply 1st, acceptance of course is another issue.



4th-


I get my Class 3 lo!.


This is really a good news for me, n it is wat i have been waiting for since last yr sept.6 months.


total costs:
theory( basic+ advanced)= 90++ , cos i did thru sch
practical (private)= 38 lessons, 7 inside circuits, 1 b4 exam=$1650
2 pdl= $50
make license=$50
total abt=$1842 yea.



Considering if i did thru school, i will be spending alot alot more, cos i need 38 lessons to complete the lesson. Maybe private lessons are cheaper, tats y i go for so many lessons.haha.Average no. of lessons for sch students is 25. Driving shld not be difficult, but i realised that, when something happens when i drive, e.g. some cars try to overtake me causing me to jam brake, or cars driving dangerously tat nearly crash onto me, all these incidents will make me nervous and unsteady, and for the rest of the lesson, i cant drive well, n will make more mistakes. That is why i needed alot more lessons, as during some of the lessons, i dint learn anything new, as i just couldnt apply wat i have learnt from the previous lesson to allow me to progress.



However, looking back, i consider these 'useless and extra' lessons useful to me!. Irony?.haha.


These extra lessons, i can say i dint not learn anything new, but i can say i did encounter problems and incidents that will happen during driving, instances like, traffic light showing blinking ember light ( faulty traffic light), while u r waiting for it to turn green. This kind of incident seldom happen, but at least when it happens again, u noe how to handle.



The test is not difficult after you had learnt all the manouvers, stopping, parking,+++. The test is difficult only when you cant manage ur stress, pressure from traffic, esp big lorries n busses, and this will cause your mind to go blank while on the road, which is likely to cause u to fail. Luck is also impt i think, n hope no reckless drivers or motorists are swerving ard u , which cause u to make careless mistakes. Even for me, just few hrs b4 the test, i was making alot of stupid mistakes which makes the instructors yelling %^&*(@##, but come to think of it, if he did not $&#^#@, i would not have passed. I would have met more accidents instead.


AlrighT! anyone who is looking for a private driving instructor can look for me!. discounts on enrolment fee and lesson charges.


quit a long post from me.

its March.

and it seems like im only posting every month. I try to post more when i encounter more things yea.

March is the month that i will see another Ns guy ord-oh. and he is Asraf Alfian!, cause he was from the prep-course. Anyway, the team has at least 1 more month of your lame jokes.Hope u will come back on in-service day, which is your official ORD day, to say what you have scripted, but do not have the chance to say it in front of that 'dog' on your last shift.

He has left, and hence 1 person less to joke, to play scrabble, to talk abt JC stuffs, to talk abt ur UNSW, and to drive us, the NS boys to morning breakfast after night shifts..

It's just a joy to work with this exciting guy, no matter wat posts and how stupid is tat post.haha. Its also hard to find this kind of capable yet funny and sociable joker in the team alr...

on the last day, and the last ride on his car home. Thanks Asraf!

MarCH!. 8 more months to my turn!

Team D today is different from Team D of the past when SSI Lu was the one calling the shots. However, I can say tat it is definitely better than the time when ACB is tl and all i can say is tat

DD is the SAVIOUR!!. His arrival has truly commanded respect from the team members and everyone welcomed his move from t/c. With him on top, the 'dog' would be subdued, to stop his nonsense..

Coming to 7 months doing shift work, im quite accustomed to the rotating work hrs. Although i can say that it makes me feel unhealthy, I can say its 'no-choice'.LOL. police have to work 24 hrs. NSmen like me just have to endure 1.5 yrs of shifts, but regulars..for as long they are patrolling, they have to do shifts. And from wat i can see, regulars who have worked for >5 yrs of shifts r experiencing hair loss. Its true, n some are half -bald even at a young age of abt 25.. Im not sure if it is due to lack of sleep. Hence it is impt to keep yourself healthy, exercise more:)

I also find myself alot weaker than my JC days where there r PE lessons are soccer games every week, and even weaker after passing out of HTA. I tried to engage in more activites, like soccer wit my team, and i can feel that my stamina is not there like it used to be.

Singapore get to hose YOG in 2010. Fortunately, i have alr ORD-ed by then, and will be studying alr, if not there will be more call-ups for re-enforcement to do crowd control or watever sht since it is such a big event. However for now, i duno when the msk search gonna end and when he will be napped, but for wat i noe, this thing canot last till i ord.LOL. So, job to do now is just to stay vigilant, n return the peace and pride of the spf.. I think those in army n cd will have to join in the search too.. haizz

JUst cant wait to be a MP...

member of public.