My beloved AH MA.
it came to us, everyone as a shock.
The day u fell down, i dint bring you to hospital as i have to work night shift. I remembered calling you using tv1 phone to talk to you that night, asking you to take good care of ur bandaged elbow, asking you to be extra careful, and telling you its just a small matter, and everything will be alright. You assured me that its just a small problem, and even this fall wont kill me.
I visited you the next sunday. Its quite disheartening to see your heavily bandanged right elbow. You tell me its okay. You said its very itchy inside, but i told you to bear with it a while more, and after the op, you can move again. You asked why the hand is swollen, maybe its due to the excessive bandage that reduces blood flow to hand.
I helped you massaged, and said this will improve blood flow, and swell will subside tomorrow. You tell me the whole story of how you fell, from the time when you want to repair a hole in the ceiling of you room with some cement, till you got bandaged. You repeated the whole story 3 times, and I assure you it will be okay after the op.
You will recover soon. I can see that you looked depressed, from your eyes, as you looked at the bandage. You are sad when you said you don't want this to happen also, and no one expected this. This is also what not she wants.
She also said why people just keep blaming and blaming her. She said providing money to go for these treatments does not give them the power to blame her. If she can, she does not want all these money, as she can pay for herself. She does not want any help from any people. I assured her that no one pay for her. All this costs are paid by insurance agency, and I tell her not to worry about the costs.
If not enough, I also have money for her to go for treatment. I tell her not to think about why she fall, but look forward how she can move her arms again after the op. I stayed till quite late that night, until ard 10+, and she asked me to take a cab home, so it will be faster.
She say she will provide the cab fare, but I told her its ok, as I'm not in a rush, and there is still bus 38 to take. While I'm preparing to go home, she asked me if I wanted to take some mooncakes home, since she has bought alot. That day is mooncake festival. I said some will do. While she was sitting down, I tell her to tell me the place of the mooncakes and i will take myself.
I tell her to sit down, and I will show her how many I will take. While I took only 5 small mooncakes, she brought me to the kitchen again, and put 4 more BIG ones into my bag. She asked me to take more, so i can eat more. I said enough alr, but she just said take it. I helped her back to her seat, and asked her to sleep early, as she got to admit in hospital the day b4 op.
I told her I will get home safely and I will visit her tomorrow evening at SGH. Before I went back, she complained of some shoulder pain, as she got to hang the bandaged arm around her neck. I said dun worry, and i gave her a shoulder massage. She said no need to trouble me, but I continue massaging her. After a while she say enough alr, as it was getting late and I should go home. Before i left, i assured her again it will be fine and everything will be okay after the op.
I helped you massaged, and said this will improve blood flow, and swell will subside tomorrow. You tell me the whole story of how you fell, from the time when you want to repair a hole in the ceiling of you room with some cement, till you got bandaged. You repeated the whole story 3 times, and I assure you it will be okay after the op.
You will recover soon. I can see that you looked depressed, from your eyes, as you looked at the bandage. You are sad when you said you don't want this to happen also, and no one expected this. This is also what not she wants.
She also said why people just keep blaming and blaming her. She said providing money to go for these treatments does not give them the power to blame her. If she can, she does not want all these money, as she can pay for herself. She does not want any help from any people. I assured her that no one pay for her. All this costs are paid by insurance agency, and I tell her not to worry about the costs.
If not enough, I also have money for her to go for treatment. I tell her not to think about why she fall, but look forward how she can move her arms again after the op. I stayed till quite late that night, until ard 10+, and she asked me to take a cab home, so it will be faster.
She say she will provide the cab fare, but I told her its ok, as I'm not in a rush, and there is still bus 38 to take. While I'm preparing to go home, she asked me if I wanted to take some mooncakes home, since she has bought alot. That day is mooncake festival. I said some will do. While she was sitting down, I tell her to tell me the place of the mooncakes and i will take myself.
I tell her to sit down, and I will show her how many I will take. While I took only 5 small mooncakes, she brought me to the kitchen again, and put 4 more BIG ones into my bag. She asked me to take more, so i can eat more. I said enough alr, but she just said take it. I helped her back to her seat, and asked her to sleep early, as she got to admit in hospital the day b4 op.
I told her I will get home safely and I will visit her tomorrow evening at SGH. Before I went back, she complained of some shoulder pain, as she got to hang the bandaged arm around her neck. I said dun worry, and i gave her a shoulder massage. She said no need to trouble me, but I continue massaging her. After a while she say enough alr, as it was getting late and I should go home. Before i left, i assured her again it will be fine and everything will be okay after the op.
THe next day, I went to SGH after my work and arrived at ard 7 plus. I found the ward and the bed and saw my ah ma. She was sitting on the bed, instead of lying down. She said it was uncomfortable to lie down, so she prefer to sit up. I feel her right hand. It was not swelling and in fact it was better after I did a small massage on it the previous night. I told her '' See, I told you, the swelling is gone after i massage it''.
She smiled at me and said ya. I massage her shoulder and said if it was still painful. She said yea. She then pulled out the cloth immediately and said she hated wearing that, cos it hurts his neck and shoulders. She said '' mai mai, bo yong eh'' and threw the cloth to other side of bed.
She then smiled at me, and asked if I have had my dinner. I replied '' Jia liao ka lai ( eaten b4 i came)'', even though I have not eaten since 12pm. I just wan to assure I had my dinner, and dun wan her to worry. She was hunching her back, as the bandaged arm was heavy, and she rest the arm on her lap.
I can sense she was feeling sad, but i tried ways to make her smile, make her happy. I told her '' Ah ma, wa eh zha bo peng you lai kua li liao ( my gf is here to see u)'' She turned and smiled at val. I was so happy. She then replied ''Ah ma jin ko lian hor ( im pitiful..)''. I said no la, my gf miss u very much, long time dint see you alr. She smiled again.
I den told her the mooncakes were nice, and I will bring some for her tomorrow. I told her after tomorrow everything will be fine alr, and she can move her arm again, and dun need to hang that cloth again. When i left, she was still sitting up on the bed, hunching her back, while resting right arm on her lap. Her face showed her sadness and worriness.
I felt that my ah ma is quite pitiful. I then went back and talked to her again, while my parents had left. She asked me why come back, and i told her I wanted to talk to her more. She den said she wanted to go toilet, and i helped her up from bed.
I brought her and handed over to my mum to bring her inside the toilet. She said she can handle herself, as she entered the cubicle. When she came out, I helped her, and told her i will come tomorrow. When i leave, she was still in her sitting position, and this makes me feel uneasy, n worried that she may be lonely.
She smiled at me and said ya. I massage her shoulder and said if it was still painful. She said yea. She then pulled out the cloth immediately and said she hated wearing that, cos it hurts his neck and shoulders. She said '' mai mai, bo yong eh'' and threw the cloth to other side of bed.
She then smiled at me, and asked if I have had my dinner. I replied '' Jia liao ka lai ( eaten b4 i came)'', even though I have not eaten since 12pm. I just wan to assure I had my dinner, and dun wan her to worry. She was hunching her back, as the bandaged arm was heavy, and she rest the arm on her lap.
I can sense she was feeling sad, but i tried ways to make her smile, make her happy. I told her '' Ah ma, wa eh zha bo peng you lai kua li liao ( my gf is here to see u)'' She turned and smiled at val. I was so happy. She then replied ''Ah ma jin ko lian hor ( im pitiful..)''. I said no la, my gf miss u very much, long time dint see you alr. She smiled again.
I den told her the mooncakes were nice, and I will bring some for her tomorrow. I told her after tomorrow everything will be fine alr, and she can move her arm again, and dun need to hang that cloth again. When i left, she was still sitting up on the bed, hunching her back, while resting right arm on her lap. Her face showed her sadness and worriness.
I felt that my ah ma is quite pitiful. I then went back and talked to her again, while my parents had left. She asked me why come back, and i told her I wanted to talk to her more. She den said she wanted to go toilet, and i helped her up from bed.
I brought her and handed over to my mum to bring her inside the toilet. She said she can handle herself, as she entered the cubicle. When she came out, I helped her, and told her i will come tomorrow. When i leave, she was still in her sitting position, and this makes me feel uneasy, n worried that she may be lonely.
Tuesday, the op day. I came a little earlier, reaching ard 6 plus, and i was told that the anesthetia could take some time to ward off. She had her op in the morning, ard 8 plus, ended ard 9 plus. My gu gu was with her the whole day after the op, and she told my gu gu that she was 1st in queue, and lasted only a while.
When i reached her bed, she was sleeping. I saw her yawn. My gu gu said she had talked to her , but she was just tired. When my gu gu called ' mother mother' , ah ma woke up and opened her eyes. She said, '' TAO HIN, SEU AI TOR AI TOR..( feeling drowsy, with feeling of vomitting..). '' and TATS the last words that came out from my ah ma's mouth. seriously.
I went home tat day, and told her I will come very early to accompany her when she woke up.
When i reached her bed, she was sleeping. I saw her yawn. My gu gu said she had talked to her , but she was just tired. When my gu gu called ' mother mother' , ah ma woke up and opened her eyes. She said, '' TAO HIN, SEU AI TOR AI TOR..( feeling drowsy, with feeling of vomitting..). '' and TATS the last words that came out from my ah ma's mouth. seriously.
I went home tat day, and told her I will come very early to accompany her when she woke up.
Wednesday, I'm prepared to visit ah ma in the afternoon when she woke up till night. While im on mrt, at city hall, my mum msg me. she got a minor stroke in the morning, and doctors are monitoring her. That immediately shocked me and Im feeling dammm worried.
I just prayed nothing serious had happened. I had just wished I could accompany her the whole afternoon, and never thought of something like tat could happen. When i arrived at outram, i ran up the hill and over to SGH, to see my ah ma. I rushed to the ward and did not see her. She has been moved to another room.
I went in. Im heart-broken. She was lying on the bed, with a heavily bandaged right arm, and an ECG( electrocardiogram) beside her. I tried to call her. No response. This is not what I had expected. I'm damm emotional that time, but i tried to hold back my tears.
My uncles were sitted outside the ward, and asked them what actually happened. They told me, ah ma was still able to get up to go toilet early in the morning, and she was helped by a nurse. She returned to her bed after tat.
When the doctor was on her morning rounds, she discovered my ah ma is not responding, and saliva dripping from her mouth. a sign of a partial paralysis. Doc suspected it could be a stroke. and then she was brought to another room. My uncles told me she could see, but just couldnt talk.T_T..
I just prayed nothing serious had happened. I had just wished I could accompany her the whole afternoon, and never thought of something like tat could happen. When i arrived at outram, i ran up the hill and over to SGH, to see my ah ma. I rushed to the ward and did not see her. She has been moved to another room.
I went in. Im heart-broken. She was lying on the bed, with a heavily bandaged right arm, and an ECG( electrocardiogram) beside her. I tried to call her. No response. This is not what I had expected. I'm damm emotional that time, but i tried to hold back my tears.
My uncles were sitted outside the ward, and asked them what actually happened. They told me, ah ma was still able to get up to go toilet early in the morning, and she was helped by a nurse. She returned to her bed after tat.
When the doctor was on her morning rounds, she discovered my ah ma is not responding, and saliva dripping from her mouth. a sign of a partial paralysis. Doc suspected it could be a stroke. and then she was brought to another room. My uncles told me she could see, but just couldnt talk.T_T..
Im going to see her later.
I shall pause here.
She's recovering well, and I prayed she will wake up and sit up again.
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