Fail. It seems to be scary word.
Remember in school, no students like to see this word on their work, especially exams. When you see tat, you will think of "What's next" to come...
Parents scold?
Meet the parent session?
Countless times of correction?
Worse! Retain ?? Repeat another year??!?!?
haha. everybody've been through that..
and to prevent that from happening, we studied hard, do what we are supposed to do, so we would get all those...
and we will get...
Awards in Prize giving day!!
Awards by GRC!! money given out too!
Recognition in school! ( that's a math expert!)
Love by teachers
Name on School's ''Hall of Fame''
A holiday trip to the furthest country from Singapore
Yes!. thats all what we want right? Crazy. who don't want all that rewards and prize money.
I used to be someone aiming high up for honours also. I always want to get the highest in class. ( cos teacher will read out your name, and your friends will 'WOW'). I always want to get straight As for my major exams. Ha. I dint achieve all these though, but my standard is still somewhere there :P
All these targets in academic achievements are always what the parents would like their child to get in school. When their child get these, they feel proud among other parents too. They feel good, and everyone in the family feel good too:D
However, after years of aiming for high academic excellence, i noticed a pattern in those high achievers of academic success.
Yes. High achievers of ACADEMIC success.
There is one word that is never in their 'dictionary'. The word is
FAILURE.
yea. They are born to win. They have set targets for themselves to top, top, and only top the class, the cohort, the school, the country. Nothing wrong. They are driven to success. They aim high and exceed expectations. However, there is one thing I also notice in them...
They never allow themselves to fail.Never. If they fail, they will fall behind others, and will lose all those recognition, all those 'WOW' they get. They don't like it. Hence, they don't like failures.
And they get academic success! they get straight As. They get into top schools. They get top scholarships. That's in school.
However, life is never a simple route to walk. You always go through lots of obstacles. There are always challenges. There are always problems that sometimes you never expect to face. So what to do?
In school, when you do not know a topic, you can search a textbook. you can ask your teacher. you can study more about that topic, understand it, and solve that question. you can go for tuition or supplementary class. Then you master it, and know that question for exam.
However, what about life problems?
What happens when they fail a subject? What happens when they dint get what they expect?(7 distinctions out of 6 distinctions) What happens when they got rejected for a scholarship?
Most often, if they are able to accept these failures, they will stand up, and try again, take failure as feedback, and start again. They learn from their mistakes, and accept failures as part of the game of life. After the failures, they learn their mistakes and come back stronger.
However, what if they can't accept these failures?
I think you guys know the answers too.
Some solutions include breaking down, giving up on life, changing from bad to worse as a person, seek revenge, or worse, and easiest...
Seek death.
Yea. I think alot of us saw these examples reported in news.
Students commit sucide because cant get into the top school they want. Students commit suicide because they dint do well in PSLE. Students break down because they dint get the result they have aimed for.(6 distinction instead of 7). And the latest, NTU student commited suicide.
Regarding the NTU, i prefer not to comment too much, as much investigation is on the way to find out the real cause.
But WHAT? 6 distinctions out of 7. And the student broke down, cry and cry for days? Maybe for us normal students, 6 distinctions to us seems like a godly gift and would even celebrate it for months. For that top student, it is a failure, as she dint get straight As for all her subjects.
The education system has indirectly cultivate the habit of elitism. If you are not among the elites, you are OUT!. If you cant get into top school, cant get straight As, cant get into TOP universities, cant get into TOP courses, you are OUT!. that's all the belief by singapore parents.
But what kind of children have they produced? Their children are taught to score 90marks and above, 89 not accepted. They are caned when they fail. They are reprimanded when they play. They are scolded if they dint do well in tests. Trained Elites.
What if they cant get their dersired job after graduation? Don't tell me they go and complain to the boss.
What if they cant get government scholarship because someone else get it? Don't tell me they go and complain to parliament.
What if they don't get a promotion after years of working? Don't tell me they go and kill the boss.
Accepting those as failures and try again? Hardly.
I used to have an elitist personality too. I aimed to get the best. I get the feeling of being the best when I top my class for my first time in Sec4. i got the "WOW". People look at me as their mentor. You get to showboat your skills.
Up to JC, I aimed for academic and CCA excellence too. I manage my time, study and play, and get quite good grades too. As usual, I got that "WOW" from my class. Always called me when they got problems. I will help them, so i get more "WOW".Haha. My form teacher buzz ard my academic success, and even my choir teacher knew it. I feel good.
I aim to do more things, taking up 2 CCAs, soccer and choir, and other activities to make my future resume looks good. With all these, I aim to get the "STUDENT of the YEAR" award. Its quite easy for me actually, considered I have done alot in CCA. Just left for my A levels to get 3As.
In the end, I dint get. I get 2As. I felt disappointed. i let down the teachers who have high expectations on me. I felt I could have done better. I went to the College day to get CCA award, but dint feel good, as the "Student of the year" award doesnt belong to me. It hit me, and I was quite lost that time. I dint get what I had aimed for. But I dint think much tat time, as I was in NS.
So into NS, I wanted to achieve more, to make up for the awards I missed in JC. As an A level holder, I am expected to be promoted to 'SGT'. Yes. Expected.
But Unexpectedly, I dint get. I was denied a promotion. As an elitist, I couldn't accept it! How to accept this shit? All my qualified A lvl friends get Sgt, with a $300 increase in pay. Those who are so damm lazy during trainee days also get. I, who dint get any MCs, and never miss any workdays, never came late... not promoted. What is this? How to accept?
That was the lowest point in my life. I was damm down. I wanted to 'do something' to tat guy who denied me. Whenever I met up with old squadmates, they always asked "Why you never promote?'. This kind of question, I just have to swallow my guts and answer. Its embarrassing, its demotivating, its intimidating. My friends just got to probe and probe. Cos they never see this thing happen b4.
From then on, I begin to see true life of corporate world. Your life is determined by someone above you. He has control over your life. Its not ur results, not ur performance, not ur behaviour. If he doesnt like you, he can say anything to you, and That's iT!. He just don't like you, and even if u r perfect, he will find faults in you. Can't find faults, create them.
My elitism takes a hit. I cant get Sgt like my friends. Im a lower rank than them. And until then, when Im at the lowest point of NS, I picked up that Adam Khoo's 'Master your mind, Design your destiny' book.(I talked about this book alot of times already.LOL. Read previous posts to find out more:D) From there on, I got my new life. And so on...
I don't favour elitism anymore. I don't go for high IQ. I go for high EQ instead. So what you get an super high Mensa IQ? Does tat mean that you are a people-person? Does that mean that your boss will like you? Does that mean that your boss will put you on the Promotion List 1st?
If these people think so, they can spend their next 10 years and try. No matter what, they have no control of the promotion, unless the promotion is based on RESULTS and PERFORMANCE, which seldoms happens. Policticking has to be a criterion too.
Politicking? It just a nicer word for suck up, carry balls ...etc.. you guys noe better.LOL
Now I don't favour elitism, high IQ. I like failures instead. I like people who have failed in their school, faced multiple setbacks, and survive in life. I'm not being a racist, but I can see malays, even though many of them dint not go JC, they have far far far far more EQ than those JC freaks.
I worked with them at airport. Im impressed with how they connect with the public so easily. They aren't afraid of shyness, aren't afraid of how people look at them when they handle case. They made alot of friends in workplace and outside, and they are never lonely. I like to work with them. They helped their friends alot, and are never selfish. These are people who will survive in the game of LIFE.
Elistists, they think they are superior than others. They think they are so educated that only people of their standard can talk to them. They speak their own language. They can hardly connect with the public. They have few friends, who are also elitists in their class. They think for themselves, just like how they are tuned to top the school, no matter what.
Haiz. I feel good leaving the class of elistism. It jus feel so great. There are alot of things to achieve other than academic success. Success in school, doesnt mean you will achieve success in life too. Game of Life is full of obstacles, challenges that some will fail. Elitists don't like. They like to go for things they are 100% sure they won't fail. And that is why...
you see many of the elitists are professors in school. They love studying and achieving good grades in school, cos thats what they are good at. They hardly fail, and they mostly win.
To conclude this, as this is quite a long post...
I love failures, and I hope you too. You have to learn to fall from a bicycle, before you can be a cyclist. You have to struggle in the pool, b4 u become a swimmer. You have to cook multiple dishes of tasteless food, before you make a great one. You have to fail before you attain success.
But sad enough, school doesn't teach you how to fail. Life does.
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